Don’t dwell on it, celebrate it!
Like it or not things will change! In the last 6 months we have had some of the biggest changes in the history of our lives. This episode is designed to help you adjust to change in a positive way, so that we can embrace change and keep moving forward!
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DENISE: Welcome and thank you for joining into today’s Positive Forward Motion. This is your host, Denise Scattergood.
Each week I discuss a topic that is designed to help you get more of what you do want, and less of what you don’t want, both personally and professionally.
My goal is to add value to other’s by sharing a topic in 8 minutes or less. Topics that will empower, motivate, and inspire you to have more happiness and success.
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Today topic is Change.
Change occurs, I mean whether we want it to or not, right?
Sometimes we’re excited, we really look forward to change, we want it, and we embrace it!
And that’s when it’s super easy. But how we cope with unexpected change will have a huge impact on our happiness and our success.
And it’s not news that change is going to happen whether we like it or not!
And WOW! In the last 6 months, we have had some of the biggest changes in the history of most of our lives.
Today episode is designed to help you adjust to change in the most positive way.
What we know for sure is that nothing stays the same, and we also know that for those of us who learn how to embrace, adjust, and adapt positively to change will be healthier and happier.
So, I’d like to first start off with this quote by inspirational writer – William Arthur Ward.
“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.”
So, which would you say you are right now? Right now today, are you the pessimist (always complaining), the optimist (find the good), or are you the realist (who is seizing the opportunity) and using change to their advantage?
Which were you before the global crisis?
Well if you are not where you want to be, there is really good news because guess what?
You guessed it, you have the power to CHANGE!!
Before I go into giving you steps to help you adjust, adapt, and embrace, change with grace and positivity, I would first like to have you think about this:
Do you remember a situation in your life, let’s say a job, a relationship, a lifestyle, a relocation, whatever it was that you wanted to change, let’s say it was because you were unhappy, discontent, or just plain old fed up with your current situation.
And then not long after you finally made the change, you found yourself longing for the way things used to be! Come on be honest, we have all had those moments.
What I am getting here is that whether you want the change and make the change, or if the change is unexpected, both situations are hard.
Because change is hard! It’s uncomfortable, and it’s going to be uncomfortable until it gets comfortable!
I mean, a perfect example for me, I don’t know about you, but one of the biggest challenges of recent change for me that really bothered me, was wearing a mask in a grocery store! Not because I didn’t want to help others or believe it was a good thing. It was because I couldn’t see and I couldn’t get used to this new change.
So, what would happen?
I’d walk to the front door, I’d realize – UGH – I have to go all the way back to my car and get my mask. And then I’d put my mask on, and then I’d try to walk in the wrong door. Then I’d finally get in the grocery store, and I couldn’t see very well!
So, I’d be walking the wrong way down one-way aisles, I’d get in trouble and told I was walking the wrong way. And – UGH – I got to tell you, this just drove me crazy and I had my moments where I wish I could just walk into a store like I used to, be able to see, and not have to worry about all this change!
So, you see, we all have difficulty with change, whether it’s a change we bring on ourselves or unexpected change.
And today I am going to give you 7 steps to help you cope with change in a more positive way:
- Recognize on the days when we have other stresses what it can do is magnify the uncomfortable feelings that come with the change. So, with me, I identified that on the days that I was already stressed out and had other worries and challenges, this simple task of my mask in the grocery store became a little more overwhelming. So, what we need to do is take a deep breath, sit up, smile and say “You know what? I got this!” Because you do! We got this we can do this.
- Welcome the fact that change is constant. Our lives are never going to be change-free. Ever. And the beauty of life is that no single day will be the same as the next. Our emotions, our relationships, values, and perspectives are in constant flux. And it’s up to us to embrace it!
- Be present in your current situation. Remember, this too shall pass and one day you might look back and miss it. So, find the good and have gratitude for whatever situation you are currently in.
- Embrace your longing for how things used to be. It’s okay to miss how things used to be! I find it so funny that many people don’t embrace the present moment until its gone! And this happens where a look back, wishing things were the way the used to be, and they turn that into a negative! Actually, I find it as a positive because here is the deal. If you find yourself missing your past, that’s a good thing! It’s not a bad thing because if you did not reminisce or miss your previous life, then I would think that maybe it wasn’t as meaningful as it could have been, and it wasn’t worth missing! So if you are missing something in your past because it was meaningful, embrace that and be happy that you had the experience.
- Understand that change makes us better. Recognize that we cannot change the past. We must let it go! If we agonize over something that is in the past, that becomes unhealthy and unrealistic. So, rather than dwell on maybe why things didn’t go exactly how you had wanted, or you made a mistake, or you wished things went differently, step back and see what you can learn from your experiences. And then move on. Understanding that our past experiences can and should be used as a guide to make us better
- Focus on the solution not the problem. One of the most common myths of coping with unwanted changes is the idea that we can just “work through” our anger, fears, and frustrations by talking about them a lot. Well, this isn’t always the case. In fact, research shows that actively and repeatedly broadcasting negative emotions hinders our progress.
So, I’m not saying you should just “suck it up” or ignore your troubles. Instead, recognize your anxiety or your anger so you are aware of how it might distort your thinking. Then look for practical advice about what to do next. And when you do this you’ll zero in on the problem so you can form a solution. And once you do, I want you to practice by spending 20% of your time recognizing the problem and the other 80% of your time focusing on the solution.
- Realize that change can be the scariest and most the exciting part of life. And this is worth repeating! Change is both scary and exciting! Sometimes fear and excitement get intertwined and they confuse us. And as uncomfortable as it can be… change will never cease to happen. You may not stay with the same mate. You may not keep the same job. You might not live in the same place, but as long as things are changing, that means you are alive and that is something to celebrate and accept.
So, remember, if we don’t change, we don’t grow. And if we don’t grow, we are not really living!
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DENISE: If you would like a free PDF worksheet of this episode’s action steps, you can find a downloadable link under each podcast episode on my website, DeniseScattergood.com.
Don’t forget to stay in the loop of all things Positive Forward Motion by following me on Instagram and Facebook @DeniseScattergood, and you can find me on Twitter @AlertTrainers.
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As always, I am wishing you continued success and happiness both personally and professionally and remember to keep up the Positive Forward Motion!
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