Blog – Page 2 – Denise Scattergood

The Secret Formula

April 30, 2019

Over scheduling, never ending emails, not enough time in the day have you feeling a bit overwhelmed? Many of us finish out our day wishing we could get more accomplished, what if there was a simple math equation that will help you prioritize tasks and achieve more!

Have you heard of the Pareto Principle, or more commonly called the 80/20 rule? Vilfredo Federico Damaso Pareto was a 19th century economist in Italy, one day he was picking pea pods in his garden and noticed that 20% of his plants produced 80% of the peas. This got Pareto thinking, what if the same idea applied to economics and wealth? After more investigating Pareto found that indeed 20% of the population in Italy owned 80% of the land and that 20% of businesses were responsible for 80% of the goods being produced in the country. Pareto’s realization brought him to the theory that 80% of the productivity comes from just 20% of the population.

When I first heard about this principle I was stunned, how could only 20% of the population accomplish 80% of the work? Pareto called these people who produced the most the “vital few”, the 20% of the population that is willing to work longer and harder than anyone else. I couldn’t contain my excitement; I knew when I first learned about the 80/20 rule that I embodied the tenacity and grit to be in the top 20%!

I started thinking of ways I could add this principle to my personal and professional life…

The easiest way to utilize Pareto’s Principle is to identify the most important 20% of your to-do list and then use 80% of your time and energy to get it done. Many of us waste energy worrying about where to start, this principle helps you prioritize the most important things and handle them first. You will feel more accomplished, productive and have the energy to do more!

“Your greatest asset is your earning ability. Your greatest resource is your time.” Brian Tracy

Now let’s apply the 80/20 rule to your finances. We often get quick satisfaction from buying a “must-have” with a quick swipe on Amazon or going on a daily Starbucks run. Next time you have the urge STOP, take that money and save it. Use that extra dough to get out there and experience new things. Take those top 20% people in your life to a comedy show or out for a quick weekend getaway! You’ll make memories that will last a lifetime, become closer to your friends and feel much more satisfied about your purchase.

“Make 80 percent of the food you eat healthy, then take 20 percent of your daily calories and make them fun.” Jillian Michaels

There’s even a way to apply Pareto’s Principle to your personal well-being. Consuming healthy foods 80% of the time and allowing yourself to indulge 20% is a great strategy. Overall you’ll eat healthier but not feeling deprived from your occasional favorite treat. There are a few ways to incorporate the 80/20 rule into a fit lifestyle, maybe try exercising and being active 80% of the week then use the leftover 20% to enjoy time to rest and recover. Lifestyle changes have their own pros and cons so make sure you do your research and consult your doctor before starting any new diet or exercise routine.

“It is not shortage of time that should worry us, but the tendency for the majority of time to be spent in low-quality ways.” Richard Koch

I’m confident once you start applying the 80/20 rule in your life you will increase daily productivity, reorganize your life and prioritize to make the most of your time. Join me in becoming one of the vital few and creating more success for yourself both personally and professionally .

Be creative and have fun, leave a comment and let me know how you incorporate the Pareto Principle into your life!

For more on the 80/20 Rule listen to my Positive Forward Motion Podcast

Love

April 9, 2019

True love usually brings to mind fairytale stories and movie script endings. Real lasting unconditional love starts within you. Find peace and acceptance of who you are and embrace it. Our personalities and preferences vary immensely, over valuing what others like or feel doesn’t allow us to fully accept who we are inside. You are one of a kind, different from anyone else. Don’t put too much stake in comparing yourself to others instead love the differences you have. The world would be quite boring if we were all the same.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Lucille Ball

How do you practice self-love, do you meditate or take a hot bubble bath? Do you speak to yourself kindly? What about having some compassion when you make a mistake? Typically, we’re our own worst critic. Jumping on the littlest mistake to tear yourself down…would you be that hard on your best friend or spouse? Why do we reserve the harshest punishment for ourselves? Show yourself the same respect and love you have for the people closest to you. In case you didn’t notice…you are stuck with yourself forever. Why not cherish and accept who you are?

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection” Buddha

When someone wrongs you in life, do you carry that weight of hurt with you? What if you instead choose love. Love the person who did you wrong and love the experience that is a small chapter in the story of your life. Practicing acts and thoughts of love towards those that have done us wrong takes more strength than holding on to hate. Keeping anger alive in your life only harms you. It keeps your energy and intention focused on what hurt you. Instead try to practice the art of healing and letting go. Accept what happened, find compassion, and know that it’s over and it’s okay to move on.

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”Saint Augustine

“All you need is love, love is all you need.” I believe The Beatles were on to something here. Love is something we all need, we thrive when love fills our heart and minds. Love conquers all, breaks barriers, moves mountains. The idea is all the same, love is a powerful force that influences every decision we make. Every single person on this planet is unique but one thing we all have in common is the ability to love one another. What about you? Do you live in love?

Speak to yourself lovingly, start your day with some positive affirmations about YOU! What qualities about yourself make you special, write down some kind words to remind you of how wonderful you are.
Release grudges and anger. It doesn’t matter if this applies to your enemies or inward towards yourself. Forgive it all, no matter how much it hurt. Harboring hate in your heart is toxic. You cannot change the past so love and let go.
Remind friends and family that you love them, a phone call or even a postcard every once and a while can bring so much joy. You never know when someone needs to hear how much they’re loved, even if we believe they already know.
Do something nice for a stranger. Hold the door, give a compliment, or even just a smile. Practice small random acts of kindness every day.
Express your gratitude, take a few moments to be thankful for all the wonderful things and people in your life. Showing appreciation is contagious, spread the love!
Volunteer your time. There’s a ton of great charities and volunteer programs out there, find one that speaks to you! Here’s a few of my favorite organizations Habitat for Humanity , Heal The Bay , and Boys and Girls Club of America

“Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time, it’s easy, all you need is love”

The Beatles

For more check out my Positive Forward Motion podcast on The Power Of Love

Pursue Your Passion

March 26, 2019

What was the last thing you did that made you feel pure joy? Is there something that invigorates your soul and makes you feel complete?

Purpose and passion come in all styles and packages. Yours may not be straightforward like being a brilliant guitar player. It could be your compassion for others or the ability to bounce back in stressful situations. Your unique gift, whatever that may be, should be embraced and enjoyed without the fear of judgement or rejection.

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” —Oprah Winfrey

What if you haven’t discovered your gift yet? Can you think of anything that gives you those positive butterfly flutters? What activities made your heart sing and time fly by at record speed? Tap into what you enjoyed when your heart recognized what it was that brought you joy, use that as inspiration. Allow yourself to search for your gift with open arms, ready to grasp any opportunity that brings you happiness. Embrace new opportunities and say yes to finding something you love.

“Even if I have no idea where I’m going or how to get there, I prefer to say yes, instead of no. Opportunity favors the bold.” -Richard Branson

Most of my life I’ve been blessed with the “gift of gab”. Anyone who knows me would agree my passion is communication. I love sharing the message of positivity with the world. I own a company that teaches effective persuasive communication, I say hello to people on the street, I’m thrilled to speak in front of crowds, and I have a podcast. It’s clear I like to communicate and connect with others. Believe it or not I was not some child prodigy that talked early or had some signs of future greatness, actually it was quite the opposite.

I was an extremely quiet child. So much so that my teachers marked me absent by mistake (more than once). School nurses sent me home because they assumed my quietness was due to illness and my parents’ friends asked if “something was wrong with her”. The old phrase, she was born with it, didn’t apply to me. I was far from a gifted child. I was labeled as shy and quiet even though on the inside I didn’t feel fearful or meek. I was carefully observing the world around me. As I entered my teenage years and began to work in customer service, I found my voice! From that point on my friends laughed that I never stopped talking and those closest to me suggested that I pursue a career in sales or public speaking.

Finding your passion or gift brings meaning to life and inspiration to those around us. Identifying your gift or purpose is not set in stone, it can evolve and change. We all have the potential for greatness. Don’t allow your gift to be restricted by gender, race, age, or any other barriers.

“You were designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness” -Zig Ziglar

It truly does not matter how unreachable your dream may seem and there’s no better example to inspire you than Sister Madonna Buder. She dedicated her life to the Roman Catholic Church becoming a nun at the age of 23. In her late 40s a colleague suggested she take up exercising for health and relaxation. Sister Madonna fell in love with running and then she discovered triathlons. If you’re not familiar that includes a swim, bike, and run. Then taking it even farther she qualified and competed in the Ironman Triathlon which is a 2.4-mile swim, 115-mile bike race, and then a 26-mile marathon run…all in one day. Ironman is a grueling race reserved for the world’s elite athletes. Sister Madonna currently holds the world record for oldest person to complete the Ironman at age 82. She is irrefutable proof that you have the ability to find a new passion at any time in your life. To learn more about her inspiring story read The Grace to Race and listen to my Positive Forward Motion Podcast Interview with Sister Madonna Buder.

You can be whatever makes you feel strong, powerful, enlightened, and energized. Your gift can be a skill or characteristic that you bring to the table that sets your soul on fire. Every one of us has a unique and wonderful ability. Share your passions with the world! If you haven’t found your gift just yet, don’t worry it’s never too late!

“If you can’t figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose.” —Bishop T.D. Jakes

Rise Above Fear

March 5, 2019

Fear helped our ancestors survive by alerting them of clear and present danger like a predator or natural disaster. Thankfully we live in the modern world. Today our fears tend to be more emotional, what do others think of me or will this new job work out? Unless there’s a lion chasing you most likely your fears are an illusion, a scenario your mind created that doesn’t actually exist. We perceive these fears as a threat when in reality we’re letting fear keep us from trying something new in the first place.

“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.”
— Rudyard Kipling

Overthinking a future failure or worst-case scenario does not make it real. We can not see the future so imagining and focusing on what could happen is a waste of time and energy. We all admire adrenaline junkies who seek out fear for fun, you may be asking what’s their secret? It’s not that they don’t have fears at all, they’ve learned to harness that fear and control it. You don’t have to jump out of an airplane to practice managing fear (or you could). That heart pumping, sweaty palm, butterfly in your stomach feeling doesn’t have to be bad. Use that adrenaline to propel you forward into taking a chance!

“Find out what you’re afraid of and go live there.”
— Chuck Palahniuk

Find a strategy for dealing with fear that works for you, I face fear by jumping right in. I always volunteer to go first. Early in my life I became aware that the more I thought about it the more time my mind has to make that fear into a bigger monster than it actually is. I will never allow fear to stop me from saying yes to new opportunities. Live a life that is full of adventure and fantastic stories, you will never get that chance if you let fear take over.

Stand up to your fears, face it head on. The longer you avoid facing it the more time your mind has to imagine something much worse than the actual threat.

Break it down. How could you overcome your fear one step at a time?

Accept it, like it or not fear happens to us all. You will face things that make your heart skip a beat. Work through what you’re feeling and know that all of us experience fear and get past it.

It feels great to accomplish something new, rise above your fears and don’t let them hold you back from pursuing your dream. Redirect your energy into overcoming fear instead of being paralyzed by the “what if?”

“Fear has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’

The choice is yours.”— Zig Ziglar

Click here to listen to my Overcoming F.E.A.R. podcast

Mindset

February 19, 2019

What if today you were suddenly removed from everyone and everything you knew and loved…your favorite foods, your cozy bed, your family and your privacy. Sounds scary right. How do you think you would react? Would you be able to maintain a positive attitude and not allow that to break your spirit?

This unbelievable story became a very real reality for one man, Anthony Graves. He endured six thousand six hundred and forty days, that’s eighteen and a half years, living in a cold concrete cell with no human contact, no sunshine and no freedom. Not because he deserved it or committed any crime but because he was innocent and no one believed him.

Eight years ago I watched his episode of 48 hours mystery, the story itself was unimaginable but the character of the man who lived through it stuck with me for years. I was in awe of the way he handled his terrible ordeal. It made me question myself, I wondered if I could have maintained the same mindset as Anthony. I promised myself that someday I would get to meet him, I had to learn more…

Recently I was honored to fly to Houston, Texas and interview Mr. Anthony Graves in person. When I interview guest speakers for my Positive Forward Motion Podcast there’s always a powerful lesson to take from each individual story. Living my life with a positive attitude is something I practice every single day. After interviewing Mr. Anthony Graves, I learned how he held on to Infinite Hope and I again asked myself, “could I really live through what he did with a positive attitude?”

Could a positive mindset be your shield, a strong defense to guard you from becoming overwhelmed by life’s most challenging circumstances?

Let me give you some insight on how this nightmare began, one ordinary day his life was changed in the most devastating way. Anthony was brought in for questioning by the police about a local homicide and didn’t return home for almost two decades. An innocent man accused and convicted of a crime he had absolutely nothing to do with, Anthony spent over eighteen years of his life on death row in a Texas prison because of a wrongful conviction. Anyone would agree that he had every right to view his situation in a negative way, to be angry at the system and his accuser. That’s not what happened. Anthony didn’t allow something that awful to take his mindset down a negative road, he upheld his innocence and had faith that he would be exonerated.

What Anthony taught me is finding a positive outcome among chaos is a choice we all have the ability to make. He reminded me that we might not be able to control what happens in life, but we can control how we feel and respond. Choosing a positive attitude will help us direct our energy to find a solution rather than focusing on the problem. No matter what life throws at us there is always a lesson to be found. A lesson that you can take with you, learn from and share with others.

“Life is neither good or bad, its our perception that makes it that way.”-Anthony Graves

No matter how terrible his future seemed Anthony held on to his own truth. He knew in his heart he was wrongfully accused, even if he reached his execution date before proving his innocence he was still on a positive path to heaven. He no longer feared the future or death because his mindset was focused on finding the good. Anthony believed that his time in prison was a lesson that he would transform into a blessing. He focused on what would happen when he was freed and sent home, not if… but when. He trusted that one day he would share his story with the world and help others understand that the justice system isn’t perfect, his goal was to help people that were also wrongly convicted.

After years of holding on to his faith, he was found completely innocent and cleared of all charges. Anthony is now a free man, released in October of 2010. Since then he’s written a book, started a foundation to help others and continues to spread his message of positivity and forgiveness.

Learning about Anthony’s story helped me to put a lot of life’s worries into perspective. Anthony explained to me when we met that, he knows hundreds of people on death row that would give their lives to have just one day of our average complaints. Anthony’s attitude was everything, he made a choice to look at the positives and find a higher meaning in what happened to him. All of us could take a second look at how we approach difficult events in our lives and flip our mindset to find a more positive meaning no matter how unfair life may seem.

Take the time every day to identify what you can control and let go of the things you cannot change.

Every day we are faced with challenges, remind yourself that you have a choice in how you want to respond. Allow a positive mindset to become your shield, it will help you to weather the storms in life and find meaning and a lesson during tough times. Finding the good in every single situation takes practice, awareness and a shift of focus. When we commit to transforming our mindset, the future is filled with optimism and hope.

The Will to Change

February 7, 2019

Every new year we embark on new resolutions, we start with hopes of a better self in whatever way that may mean to us. Is it a healthier diet, more exercise, removing toxic habits or people from your life? All of us start off the year with the best intentions but it’s going to take more than just good intentions to help you succeed and maintain your success. What you will need to work on is your willpower. Imagine your willpower as a muscle that can be trained. So instead of crashing and burning a month or two in, ditch the all or nothing attitude and set yourself up for a successful twelve months and beyond!

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will”- Mahatma Gandi

Making new goals a permanent part of your life takes a good game plan, taking small daily steps to hold yourself accountable is a great way to start. Good habits start from the inside out. Being aware of what fuel you give your body and how much rest you get at night contributes to a healthy focused brain. It will help you continue to stay physically and mentally strong to work on the best version of yourself. Small successes lead to even bigger ones and focusing on those daily wins will help you ditch the all or nothing mentality that can lead to setbacks. Keep the big goal in mind but don’t be discouraged when a day comes where your willpower isn’t the strongest. Give yourself a break, a minor setback does not mean you need to throw in the towel. Setbacks give you an opportunity to identify what you could have done differently so you can refocus and start again. Practicing and applying daily self-control will help make the new you hang in there for the long term. Taking small positive steps every day to strengthen your willpower muscle is the key to success.

What is it that you really want, is it a bad habit you would like to change? Or a new lifestyle you wish to establish? Recognizing what it is that you truly want to work towards is the first step of a successful strategy. Writing down your goals and having it somewhere you can see every day will help to empower you to work for the transformation you really desire. From the start set your intention on a positive new beginning, change is hard and your going to have to really want it to not give in to temptation. Being mindful of your goals and writing out your strategy is a great way to be prepared and get started.

Eleanor Roosevelt said “It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.”

Instead of wishing for a new you, start a plan and make it happen!

How are you going to achieve the new version of yourself, what are you willing to do to get to where you would like to be? Acknowledge what lifestyle changes you’re going to make. What will work best for you and your lifestyle to set you up for maximum success? If your goal is to exercise more often, are you willing to get up at five am to get to the gym before work or are you going to pack your bag and get there after? Being prepared for the day ahead of you is incredibly important. If you tend to be sleepy in the morning and getting into the gym at five sounds like a chore that’s okay, adjust your plan to what will work best for your long-term success. Knowing and understanding how to apply your willpower in a way that is the most beneficial for your lifestyle will help you to easily navigate through obstacles.

The final step to help you achieve lasting success isn’t always in your “I wills” it’s also knowing your “I wont’s”. It is essential to identify what you are willing to say no to. For example, in the hopes of saving more money are you willing to say no when you’re asked to go out for lunch at work? Even if that means disappointing your colleagues. Are you prepared to say no to a late-night party, so you can study and be ready to ace the test? There are always going to be difficulties that get in the way of reaching the outcome you would like to manifest. Identify early what “no’s” you will need to embrace to help you experience the most success on your journey. Being prepared ahead of time will take away the surprise situations where your willpower could be weakened. Saying no to temptation doesn’t mean you have to fight the battle alone either, having support of family or friends is extremely important to lifelong success. Find others that share your aspirations for positive change, someone you can call if there’s a day when your willpower isn’t the strongest or a friend you can set time with to help you stick to your goals.

“Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful. And believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.” -Misty Copeland

Setting your intentions to kick off the new year off right is a great place to get started. Building that willpower muscle with a simple strategic plan and consistency will help you keep up the Positive Forward Motion and continue those new healthy habits long after the new year.

Listen to my podcast to learn more tips to build your willpower muscle!

Positive Perspective

January 10, 2019

Life is all about perspective… maybe daily repetitive errands and chores are not enjoyable to you but every once in a while, remind yourself that you are healthy and able to perform these tasks. It’s not uncommon to speak to yourself negatively, but we need to be careful not to let this become a habit. We unknowingly say things like, “I have to get up on Monday and take my kids to school” or “I have to walk my dog” When you catch yourself talking this way take a moment to stop and change your perspective. Think about someone who lost the ability to walk, imagine how they might miss taking those strolls outside. Or imagine being a parent who has lost their child, what would they give to change another diaper or deal with one more tantrum? Its okay to have moments of frustration with the daily grind, but when life becomes overwhelming take a pause and switch your mindset to a more positive one. Our words and thoughts are powerful. Gratitude is an amazing tool that will change the way you see relationships and obligations.

“They learned the hard way – or not at all – that language is like fire: Depending on how you use it, it can either heat your house or burn it to the ground.”-Frank Luntz

Raising children can be the most challenging, frustrating and least rewarded job on the planet. Becoming a mother requires infinite patience and endless optimism, most days this is all easier said than done. Losing yourself in a pit of frustration and exhaustion is all too common, doubts set in when you realize that you don’t have all the answers. The trickiest part of being a new parent is learning how to confidently encourage yourself when times get tough and view your experience with gratitude. My daughter had her first child in 2016. Her journey began like most new parents with excitement and enthusiasm but after time that excitement turned into weariness. Her “I get-to” slowly turned into “I have-to” and two years in to being a stay at home mom she found herself in a rut and having a difficult time. Having gone through this stage of life myself many years ago; I understand that making a conscious effort to be grateful when your changing a diaper or wrestling your child into a car seat is tough. It’s easier to let the hard parts about parenting pile up on your conscience and let the negativity creep in. Being the grandmother looking back, it’s simple for me to say that everything works out, “this is just a phase”, “you’ll look back on this and laugh”, but I also understand that when I was a mother of young children the world in front of you can seem overwhelming. Gratefulness is the key to open the door of happiness. Setting an example for my daughter has helped to change her perspective about thankfulness and gratitude and in turn will help her establish an example for her son.

Words have a powerful effect on how the world unfolds around us. When your inner monologue consists of phrases like, “I can’t’” or “I have-to” after time that negative language becomes normal. Negative words result in damage to your confidence and happiness. Scientific research confirms that how you speak to yourself really has lasting impact. It’s important to be your own biggest supporter and remember that you are “able-to” and “you can” if you just give it a try. Can changing the way you use words when talking about yourself or your situation change the way you feel inside? Absolutely! Language can’t change reality but it can change how you perceive reality to see the world a little brighter.

Challenge yourself for an entire month to write down one thing every day that you’re grateful for even if its something as simple as being thankful for your morning cup of coffee or for having a warm bed to sleep in…whatever makes you happy and thankful to be alive every day, write it down. At the end of one month you’ll have 30 things to remind you not only of how wonderful life can be but how wonderful it actually is.

Click here to listen to my You Don’t Have To podcast

Elevate Your Expectations

December 20, 2018

From the time you’re born expectations arise. Parents insist on you to behave accordingly as a child, your teachers require you to do well in class and go to college, then comes a successful career. While that’s a fine path for some, many psychologists believe that our society has gone to extremes setting up high expectations in young people. Sometimes to the point where the label of failure overshadows smaller achievements along the way. There are billions of people in this world and not every path should be the same, how boring would that be? The pressure to live up to the expectations of society can be daunting and even detrimental to your personal growth. Not every human should be shuffled down the same path, some folks have amazing abilities that having nothing to do with the expectations of society, parents or peers.

Personally, I struggle with expectations because I tend to set them high for myself and the people in my life. In the past, that has set me up for disappointment. I’ve had to learn to adjust those expectations to help myself celebrate the wins instead of dwelling on things that didn’t materialize how I desired. This is especially true in my career. Being a mentor and motivator for a group of people who all have different skills and personalities, I’ve learned to help others set a standard of excellence without dwelling on failure. Failure is a part of the process; anticipate challenges, so you will be prepared to give it another try.

In 2004 I moved my family from New Jersey to California. One day I saw a post card for Mount Whitney, I had no idea this extraordinary mountain was only a few hours away. I was so excited to start researching and set a date to hike to the summit. My initial expectations were that I was athletic enough and I have experience mountaineering, so it would be a fun adventure but nothing I couldn’t handle. When I was researching Mount Whitney I learned at 14,505ft it is the tallest mountain in the contiguous United States. I was even more surprised to hear that the success rate of making it all the way to the peak was only 30 percent! Compare that to 45 percent success at Mount Everest. I knew my goal was achievable, but I certainly had to adjust my expectations when preparing to summit. There were many opportunities for things to go wrong along the way including altitude sickness, fatigue, severe injury, and worse…I have always pushed myself to strive be faster and stronger, but that mindset wasn’t enough to get me to the peak. I had to expect for there to be immense challenges so I would be prepared to face them head on; and not have to set myself too far back to where I couldn’t summit at all.

The date came and it was time to climb! As I pushed farther up to the summit, I came upon a sign that said, “The mountain will still be here, don’t expect to be rescued.” Though that truly did scare me, it was also a motivating reminder to keep grounded and prepare for the unexpected. It was telling me to be safe and smart but, if I get myself in an unsafe situation, to be realistic and not to endanger others because I pushed myself too far. There are multiple difficult checkpoints you must make before that final push for the summit. I decided to take it slow and steady. I was determined to make it to the top! My ego was urging me to go faster, to not let people pass me on the trail, to be the leader of the pack! I remembered if I didn’t pace myself, I could succumb to altitude sickness or fatigue easily. Then came the “99 Switchbacks”, the seemingly endless zig-zag trail to the top that rises 1700ft in less than a mile. My inner voice was nervously telling me that maybe I couldn’t make it? I went slower than I normally would because I was so afraid of my body failing from exhaustion. Even top athletes had thrown in the towel but I remembered I expected this on my journey. I was prepared to meet this challenge because I had paced myself along the way and I would make those last few miles to the peak! As I hiked farther, I changed that “maybe I can’t?” to “what if I can?” I continued to put one foot in front of the other and kept moving forward. After hours of hiking and months of preparing, I finally made it. When the magnitude of my accomplishment sunk in, I cried tears of joy. It was beautiful to be on top of the world, but I was even more thankful that when I set my expectations to accomplish my goals I did it in a way that set me up for success.

Expectations can be a tricky thing, set them too low and there might not be the motivation to move forward. If you set expectations too high and the pressure of meeting them could ruin your self-esteem. The key is balance. Whatever your dreams may be, don’t get hung up on chasing perfection. Celebrate the journey and enjoy the view from the top!

Click here to listen to my Expectations podcast

Get Out Your Shovel

December 6, 2018

When the going gets tough, the tough get going…right? It’s not always easy to get back up and try again when you’ve been rejected or something doesn’t go your way. It’s up to you to dig deep, get out your proverbial shovel and get going! Today’s world is full of instant gratification. When something does not work out effortlessly it’s easier to give up, to only scratch the surface and say, “oh well it wasn’t meant to be.” Don’t be discouraged if your first attempt was not an immediate success, get back out there and try, try again! The path to triumph is difficult, you may feel uncomfortable and acquire some blisters along the way, keep building that muscle and see your dreams grow!

I have been fortunate to see success in my career and personal goals, but they didn’t fall into my lap. My success story started from scratch, just like everyone else. I had to get out my shovel and dig deep to attain my dreams. When I turned eighteen, I decided to move to Texas. All of my friends and family thought I was out of my mind to move to a new state where I had no family support or guaranteed career. I wanted to try and make it on my own and it wasn’t without struggle at first, but I was determined to show myself and others that I could do it!

Once I moved to Texas, I began working for a company that brokered flowers from South America to the United States for resale in the hospitality industry. It was a great business and very successful in the Dallas area. Years later I used a similar business model and started my own company back home in Philadelphia. I was confident that I possessed the skills and grit to get it up and running. I moved back East and put things in motion, one of my first tasks was finding insurance for my company. The office I walked into was a familiar one, it was the same insurance agent my parents used for their restaurant the past twenty years. I laid my business plan out on his desk waiting for my approval and quote. Instead he laughed me out of his office and continued to explain that my business would never work and there was no way that he would ever consider taking my money. I was speechless at first. I could have accepted his advice, gone home and started over. Instead I dug deep and explained why he was going to insure me; there was absolutely no way I was leaving without it. Sure enough, he was so impressed I didn’t take no for an answer that he decided to take a chance. Seventeen years later that same insurance agent thanked me for my loyal business and chuckled about the time a young girl walked into his office and didn’t give up on her dreams.

Even the world’s most notable figures started out as a nobody, some were turned away multiple times or laughed out of an office too. One of the world’s most beloved and well-known authors had to get out his shovel and keep digging, twenty-eight times in fact. Theodor Seuss Geisel, or as we all know him, Dr. Seuss, wrote his first manuscript in 1937. He was thrown out of publishing companies over and over again until someone took a chance on his work. At the time of Dr. Seuss’s death in 1991 he had won a Pulitzer Prize, his books sold over 600 million copies, and were translated in 20 different languages. How many times are you willing to face rejection? What if Dr. Seuss gave up, can you imagine a world without Green Eggs and Ham or Cat In The Hat? Dr. Seuss persistently chased his dream in the face of adversity and changed children’s literature forever.

Every person that created success in their life started somewhere. Dreams require hard work; when you use that shovel and continue digging towards your goals, some amazing things will happen. When you just hang in there a little longer and give it another chance you will create some wonderful opportunities for yourself, personally and professionally.

Need some more inspiration? Take a look at all these incredible examples of successful people who never gave up on their dreams!

48 Famous Failures Who Will Inspire You To Achieve

Click Here to listen to my Get Out Your Shovel podcast

Positive Forward Motion, Where It All Started

December 4, 2018

What is Positive Forward Motion? A three-word phrase I live by every day, a simple reminder to keep my goals and dreams the focus of my life. There is no magic wand to make your dreams a reality but, you have the ability to use this mantra as a tool to take action and create some magic in your own life. You may be wondering, how am I such an expert on positivity?

This journey started for me as a child growing up in a family that had every reason to let hardship, fear and failure take over. My parents grew up poor during the great depression with little opportunity to live a better life. What my parents passed down to me is that it’s okay to glance at your past and remember where you come from but, it does not define who you are. They were determined to instill in me the grit, passion and focus it takes to make it through the trials and tribulations of life. Hard work and a positive attitude were their formula for success!

My mother Mae was my very first mentor, she always found the good in every situation and every person; not because she had the perfect life, actually it was quite the opposite. From the moment she was born her life was a struggle, brought up in a poor household with abusive, alcoholic parents she had to make the best of her circumstances. What I admire about my mom the most is, she realized on her own that she had a choice in how her life would turn out. She knew from a young age that she wasn’t comfortable with just okay, she wanted a life that was spectacular. My Mom seized control, taking one small positive step each day.

My father Bill had a different approach to raising us, he was typically quiet and reserved but, boy did he let his actions do the talking. I believe his lack of words and sense of action were due to being raised by immigrant parents that did not read or write English. My father only spoke Ukrainian until the age of 8. My Dad explained to me that if I wanted something bad enough, I could achieve it by simply doing. I still can hear his words of encouragement, “Denise, are you going to keep talking about what you are going to do or are you going to get doing?”

When my parents were older, they had a successful restaurant business and a family of their own. Everything from the outside looked as if they were living the American dream; a beautiful home, new cars and exotic vacations. What people didn’t see was the reality of everyday challenges of married life, having a special needs child and running a business. My parents viewed those obstacles as an opportunity to teach my brother and I the value of hard work, persistence and a can-do attitude.

What I’m getting at here is life is going to give you road blocks, many in fact. People along the way are going to tell you your dreams are silly or your ideas are useless, don’t listen. Trust yourself to keep your goals a priority and take another positive step, no matter how small, in the direction of your dreams!

Click Here to listen to my Keeping Up the Positive Forward Motion podcast